“Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames”
This quote is EVERYTHING. (I stole it from Will Smith, who stole it from Rūmī)
The other day I took a walk with some friends. I was barefaced, messy haired, just being myself and feeling completely comfortable in their company. I didn’t feel the need to do all of the talking, fill in the silences or entertain. Most of all I felt completely content at that moment. I got home and felt really good. This is how friendships should feel – as I’ve grown, I’ve become more aware that life is what you make it. I also believe that as we grow older, we start to realise the little time we have left on this planet. It can make you slightly more choosy and less patient when dealing with other people’s bullshit. Your time is precious so spending it wisely is key!
By the way, I know it’s been 1000 years since my last blog post… As well as going through a pretty intense time in my mind (I’ll talk about that in another post) I’ve been working up a sweat in the gym most days *cough* (currently not been to the gym in two weeks), all while trying to maintain a social life. Anyway, enjoy another very late blog post.
The company you keep is a huge contributing factor to your quality of life and happiness
So three months ago, I hit the big 30 – I’m officially an adult, which apparently means I should have my shit together by now. Although, in my mind, I’m still that confused 17 year old wondering what the hell is going on. When I compare the people I had in my life during my early 20’s to the people I have now, there’s a huge difference. Back then I had an abundance of acquaintances that outweighed real friends. Though I didn’t know it at the time, and it sucked when I realised I was putting my time and energy into people that I couldn’t truly be myself around. These people didn’t make me feel good or make me want to better myself. When you spend time with people who have a constant negative outlook on life, what is it doing to your mental health? I’m sure most people have this realization at some point.
Your network is your net worth
A few years ago I made a promise to myself. To focus my energy on the people that help me to be a better person, the genuine, interesting ones with real-life experiences. Those who have come through the other side against all odds. The person who respects and values themselves based on their mind and not on their appearance or possessions. These are the people I find most interesting and the people who inspire me. With the right crew, you are unstoppable!
Not everyone deserves to be around you – choose wisely
Friendships are not meant to be difficult, one-sided or stressful. They are meant to be mutually beneficial to both individuals. It’s important to surround yourself with individuals you aspire to be more like. The ones who you admire and who want to see you succeed. It’s taken me most of my life to find these people. This is the person you can share your most ridiculous idea with, this is the person who believes in not only themselves but also, you. After a coffee and catch up with them, you will be left feeling uplifted and with a head full of fresh ideas.
You’re not the same person now as you were five years ago. As we grow, our interests and priorities change and this also means our friendships either weaken or grow stronger. Basing a friendship value on how long you’ve known that person is a bad idea. I met someone four years ago who I now consider one of my closest friends. Sometimes, in order to care for yourself, you need to be a little bit selfish. So you shouldn’t feel guilty about spending less time with people who aren’t enriching your life, to spend more time with those who do.